I'm Back...
Hey guys. Did you miss me? Nah, thought not...
Okay, back to business...
"How was work?" Well, that's a mixed one really. They had me shifting fruit and veg around as usual, and then moved me to milk! I love milk. Especially the milk I was doing today. (Trying to avoid bursting out with "ain't milk brilliant!"). I was doing all that UHT milk that nobody really likes but what makes supermarket milk absolutely fantastic is that all the bottles are made of PLASTIC! I kept dropping so many of those suckers all over the place that if they were glass I'd be in a LOT of trouble! Some came in cartons which are surprisingly tough too. There's a few on the shelf now that are a little bit battered but luckily haven't leaked. Hope no-one noticed that they looked perfectly fine when they came off the lorry at 2am.
They also had me dealing with coffee too. Now anyone that knows me knows that I hate hot drinks (with the exception of my friend Emma's hot chocolate). I had no idea how many types of coffee you could get. There's gold, decaf, gold decaf, expresso, vanilla, instant, self-heating, mint, latte, cream - there's about as many different varieties of coffee on that one shelf as there are pigeons in Trafalgar square. Yet there's this one tiny packet of coffee by a company called San Francisco Bay that I found all alone on the shelf of buscuits opposite. I spent literally 30 minutes trying to help him find his little friends. I kept asking "Where do you come from?" - and then threatened any smart-ass packet of coffee that dared reply with "San Francisco."
Then my supervisor finally tells me that the reason I can't find his little friends is because we no longer stock San Francisco Bay Coffee.
Well that was fun.
Anyway, I was walkin around and found that someone had left the wall open. Yah - you didn't misread that - Someone... left the wall... open.....
Okay, there's this door in Tesco which says "Staff Only" which obviously means that I can go in there and you can't. But don't worry, you're not missing anything. (It's cold, they don't let you eat any of the food and they force you to work
). There's a bit of the wall next to it which is also on a hinge and someone had left that open instead of the door. Not only that, but they also left me standing there for a couple of minutes totally confused out of my mind, trying to figure out what the hell was going on and why I'd just walked through a wall. I'd also just eaten 3 chocolate bars and downed two cans of Coke moments earlier which might have something to do with my mass confusion. 
I read the paper again.
Todays stories just seemed ironic more than anything.
But all in all, it's been a pretty good day.
Learnt a lot about coffee. Played hide & seek with none-existant coffee. Had enough money to afford to use one of the lockers to store nothing but my house keys and about 23 pence in change just for the sake of it. I managed to survive the whole day without injuring myself. Got to work on time. Got through all of my deliveries and some back-stock. Got juiced-up, psyched-up, from two cans of caffenaginated goodness. Stayed on the good-side of my supervisor. The same Christmas CD that's played every single day on repeat for at least 3 hours was thankfully restricted to about 20 minutes. Managed to sort my head out after the last week I've had. My legs didn't fall off. Spoke to my friend Kate on the phone this morning and hopefully should be seeing her later today. 
Oh yeah, and I got fired....
Okay, back to business...
"How was work?" Well, that's a mixed one really. They had me shifting fruit and veg around as usual, and then moved me to milk! I love milk. Especially the milk I was doing today. (Trying to avoid bursting out with "ain't milk brilliant!"). I was doing all that UHT milk that nobody really likes but what makes supermarket milk absolutely fantastic is that all the bottles are made of PLASTIC! I kept dropping so many of those suckers all over the place that if they were glass I'd be in a LOT of trouble! Some came in cartons which are surprisingly tough too. There's a few on the shelf now that are a little bit battered but luckily haven't leaked. Hope no-one noticed that they looked perfectly fine when they came off the lorry at 2am.
They also had me dealing with coffee too. Now anyone that knows me knows that I hate hot drinks (with the exception of my friend Emma's hot chocolate). I had no idea how many types of coffee you could get. There's gold, decaf, gold decaf, expresso, vanilla, instant, self-heating, mint, latte, cream - there's about as many different varieties of coffee on that one shelf as there are pigeons in Trafalgar square. Yet there's this one tiny packet of coffee by a company called San Francisco Bay that I found all alone on the shelf of buscuits opposite. I spent literally 30 minutes trying to help him find his little friends. I kept asking "Where do you come from?" - and then threatened any smart-ass packet of coffee that dared reply with "San Francisco."
Then my supervisor finally tells me that the reason I can't find his little friends is because we no longer stock San Francisco Bay Coffee.
Well that was fun.
Anyway, I was walkin around and found that someone had left the wall open. Yah - you didn't misread that - Someone... left the wall... open.....
Okay, there's this door in Tesco which says "Staff Only" which obviously means that I can go in there and you can't. But don't worry, you're not missing anything. (It's cold, they don't let you eat any of the food and they force you to work
). There's a bit of the wall next to it which is also on a hinge and someone had left that open instead of the door. Not only that, but they also left me standing there for a couple of minutes totally confused out of my mind, trying to figure out what the hell was going on and why I'd just walked through a wall. I'd also just eaten 3 chocolate bars and downed two cans of Coke moments earlier which might have something to do with my mass confusion.
I read the paper again.
An elderly lady accidentally drove her car into an opticians.
I think there's a joke in there somewhere...
A thief's attempt to steal from a chinese monastery was foiled by two of the monks. They were both trained in Karate and totally kicked his ass!
There's a sperm donor who's fathered about 23 kids - but unfortunately he and his wife are having difficulties making a child of their own.
Todays stories just seemed ironic more than anything.
But all in all, it's been a pretty good day.
Learnt a lot about coffee. Played hide & seek with none-existant coffee. Had enough money to afford to use one of the lockers to store nothing but my house keys and about 23 pence in change just for the sake of it. I managed to survive the whole day without injuring myself. Got to work on time. Got through all of my deliveries and some back-stock. Got juiced-up, psyched-up, from two cans of caffenaginated goodness. Stayed on the good-side of my supervisor. The same Christmas CD that's played every single day on repeat for at least 3 hours was thankfully restricted to about 20 minutes. Managed to sort my head out after the last week I've had. My legs didn't fall off. Spoke to my friend Kate on the phone this morning and hopefully should be seeing her later today.
Oh yeah, and I got fired....
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