Look At All The Things

Again, I've just got back from work (seems like this is going to be the norm for most posts - go to work, come back and make a post before going to bed). During my 2:00am break I sat down and read some newspapers (one of the ma... few perks). There were a few strange stories I came accross that caught my attention....

A poster that was made to be shown in police stations to encourage minority-groups within the police force to stand up and "Make a Difference" had to be scrapped after a police officer noticed that one of the models (dressed as a detective) was a convicted thief that he personally arrested back in the 80s. The poster has had to be re-made.

A woman is selling a ghost on eBay - because it's scaring her son! The ghost is of her father (who's said to be quite a nice fellow who wouldn't harm a soul) and so far she's had a lot of bidders. The winner will receive a walking stick which belonged to the deceased grandfather and is asked to write to the child telling him that the ghost arrived and that he will now be safe. Bless.

Apparently scientists in America have discovered that women who take slimming pills when pregnant are more likely to give birth to a lesbian.

I've had a somewhat productive day because I've been learning quite a lot of new stuff at work by either looking at things or through misadventure. I've learned that;

• Cauliflower also comes in purple
• Freezers are way colder than fridges and leave you feeling numb
• Some gloves only work when it's warm
  
• Gloves do however provide protection against the usual cuts and scrapes from cardboard boxes with a grudge
• Pink grapefruit is actually yellow
• So is Red grapefruit
• When attempting to understand the complexities of fruit colour-coding, supervisors just assume you don't know where the tray of lemons in front of you is supposed to go
• After such an accusation and proclaiming you know exactly where it goes, you find you dont
• Kilted Sausages are not sausages in kilts, nor do they look like such
  
• People look at you funny when you bring up the subject of Eskimo-Ninjas
• There will always be two people you work with who will call you "Alex" when your name-badge clearly says "Alastair"
• One of them will be your supervisor
• A third person will just assume you're Scottish
  
• Some doors only open one-way
  
• When there are lots of things on a shelf lots of things will fall off

In conclusion:
I love pizza.

Please Note: Pizza is entirely relevant to this conversation - because pizza is always relevant.